Twenty minutes later, I heard my mom calling me from downstairs telling me to help out with dinner. I stood up and as I reached the stairs, the whole room felt unbalnced. I felt woozy. Must have stood up too fast. I rubbed my temples and walked down the steps one at a time. By the fourth step, I suddenly felt my eyes falling backwards to the ceiling and suddenly everything was black. The pain of rolling down the staircase, literally, wasn't nearly as painful as the sharp pinch in my head. I was in pain but I couldn't feel my body enough to react. I wanted to scream but my lips were dry and heavy. I kept hearing mom screaming at my face, I couldn't make out what she was saying. Everything I heard was muffled. My body was fighting to move but the pain in my head numbed every other part of my muscles. Then, silence. Everything was pitch black for a long time. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't feel anything.

<two days later>

Finally, I could hear something. It went like the scanner at supermarkets: beep, beep, beep. I could hear someone breathing heavily. Sounds like a snore. I thought for a moment of who it was. Sounds like mom's. I mustered all my energy to open my eyes but I failed. I kept trying until finally, the bright lights greeted my. I started blinking through and saw the ceiling lights. I tilted my head, with great effort, to see mom beside me, sleeping on the couch. Dad was on the other side of the room, sleeping too. I tried to move my hands. They were a lot heavier than I thought they were. But I only needed to move an inch when mom stirred awake and widened her eyes in shock. " Joby, oh my god Joby. You're awake! Don't worry Joby you're going to be fine. Don't move, I'm going to get the doctor." Well I think I can manage that, considering the fact that I can't move even if I wanted to. Mom would totally smack my butt if she could hear my thoughts in my head.

So. I have brain tumor. At the back of my head. It's too small for the doctors to remove it yet but I have to go for semi-chemo to try to eliminate it. The doctors says it wasn't life threatening yet but I would have to schedule an operation in six months if chemo wasn't doing its job. I haven't said a word of anything yet to anyone. Not even to mom or dad. I didn't know how to deal with this information. I mean mom said our family only had a history of diabetes. Not cancer. They assured me it wasn't cancer yet. And that it was still before and stages of growth. It was a tiny tumor that could potentially kill me before I turn twenty-I wanted to scream at them. 

Mom and dad were dumbfounded when they heard this, still shocked from the news. Mom cried. Dad cried. I couldn't decide whether to cry or not. I had to stay in the hospital for three weeks before I can be on home probation. I have three doctors assigned to me-two brain surgeons and one regular general practioner. Then I had eleven nurses( I counted) who waited ion me in the past six hours. Mom and dad had to work everyday so they sent my maid to take care of me. This might seem cruel and uncaring but my parents had to work and I told them to because I wasn't in danger and it was going to be okay. It took me a week to convince them as they brought me to my appointments to the doctors and chemo sessions. They had to. It would keep their worries off me and stop transferring negative energy towards me. This was healthy, I told them. I,was okay. So they came every evening instead after their work.  I didn't tell any of my friends, because technically, I wasn't dying. And they had their own shit to take care of, let alone mine. Knowing would just be a burden. 

It was coming to the end of week two and I was dragging my feet and my iv stand to the doctors office in my pjs: large baggy shirt and some comfy pants. It was Dr. Fang today checking on my tumor status. As I came into the office, I realized that he was not alone. Next to him was a tall figure, well dressed underneath his white doctory coat. He was well built, you coul tell. That cologne smell was familiar. Then I took a closer look at his face. Smooth, tan and defined cheeks. I knew this person. He was grinning back at me. " well, I hope you don't mind Joby, this is my associate, Dr seah. He's my colleague who is also my understudy, taking over me when I'm not around." I didn't react. This stupid good looking guy was my economics tutor in back when I was in JC. He used to come over my house for bloody expensive tution that I had to pay for myself.(dad refuse to pay a male tutor and mom refused as she didn't believe in tutors) the last time I saw him was on Instagram, in Bali with his gorgeous(I mean extremely beautiful girlfriend ) for vacation last month. He always picked on me and scolded me when I couldn't think of answers. And now he's my freaking doctor. This is a great example of what I call :FML. I just stared at both of them not saying anything as per usual. "Dr Seamus(pronounced as shaymus)  seah" kept scrutinizing me as I nodded or shook my head at every question Dr Fang asked. As soon as Fang took a blood sample from me and I was free to go, I sprung from my seat quickly and pushed my IV stand out with me and started walking to my room. I was wearing my pjs, looking like crap in front of that guy. I didn't talk to him since I told him my econs results for a levels were very bad. 

I was in my hospital room, switching on my Laptop for the first time since my collapse when I heard a knock on my door. It was Seamus, pushing a tray of food in towards my bed. I glanced behind him to see if Linda, my food nurse was behind him. She wasn't. Great. I still haven't said anything. He sat himself on the couch near my bed and crossed his arms. "So, you're not even going to say hi?". There was silence in the room. "You know I know you're neither deaf or mute." He added. What a jerk. Who does he think he is? Lounging in my room like I know him so well. I ignored him and logged into my laptop on my lap. I heard him sigh and said"I'm not going to say anything about a levels or whatever okay so don't worry, I won't reprimand you." I stared at him. " come on, I'm going to be your doctor, we have to at least try to be nice to each other"  he smirked. I stared at him again, this time saying," we're no different from the last time. I'm still paying you to make me better. Just that the last time was econs and this time is my brain. You don't have to force yourself to talk to me just because I'm paying you more now, cuz that money is just for you to treat me" I said without any emotion in my voice. He frowned, sighed and stood up, leaving my room. It was stupid of me to sy that but it was what I felt. I turned my focus back on my laptop. I've got mail from cay and Liz. Two weeks ago. Oops. Well, it's never too late.

Dear girls, 

How are you there? I'm fine, great actually. Just school and the usual crap. I seriously want to come visit you guys now. Seriously jelly of your new room cay. And Liz, try not to scare your roommate with your collection of shinee stuff. I wanna hear from you guys more often! Write soon!

Yours trully and lots of love, Joby

 P.s: good luck !

It was already midnight as I finished my dinner and Korean drama marathon. Time for some sleep.

Twenty minutes later, I heard my mom calling me from downstairs telling me to help out with dinner. I stood up and as I reached the stairs, the whole room felt unbalnced. I felt woozy. Must have stood up too fast. I rubbed my temples and walked down the steps one at a time. By the fourth step, I suddenly felt my eyes falling backwards to the ceiling and suddenly everything was black. The pain of rolling down the staircase, literally, wasn't nearly as painful as the sharp pinch in my head. I was in pain but I couldn't feel my body enough to react. I wanted to scream but my lips were dry and heavy. I kept hearing mom screaming at my face, I couldn't make out what she was saying. Everything I heard was muffled. My body was fighting to move but the pain in my head numbed every other part of my muscles. Then, silence. Everything was pitch black for a long time. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't feel anything.

<two days later>

Finally, I could hear something. It went like the scanner at supermarkets: beep, beep, beep. I could hear someone breathing heavily. Sounds like a snore. I thought for a moment of who it was. Sounds like mom's. I mustered all my energy to open my eyes but I failed. I kept trying until finally, the bright lights greeted my. I started blinking through and saw the ceiling lights. I tilted my head, with great effort, to see mom beside me, sleeping on the couch. Dad was on the other side of the room, sleeping too. I tried to move my hands. They were a lot heavier than I thought they were. But I only needed to move an inch when mom stirred awake and widened her eyes in shock. " Joby, oh my god Joby. You're awake! Don't worry Joby you're going to be fine. Don't move, I'm going to get the doctor." Well I think I can manage that, considering the fact that I can't move even if I wanted to. Mom would totally smack my butt if she could hear my thoughts in my head.

So. I have brain tumor. At the back of my head. It's too small for the doctors to remove it yet but I have to go for semi-chemo to try to eliminate it. The doctors says it wasn't life threatening yet but I would have to schedule an operation in six months if chemo wasn't doing its job. I haven't said a word of anything yet to anyone. Not even to mom or dad. I didn't know how to deal with this information. I mean mom said our family only had a history of diabetes. Not cancer. They assured me it wasn't cancer yet. And that it was still before and stages of growth. It was a tiny tumor that could potentially kill me before I turn twenty-I wanted to scream at them. 

Mom and dad were dumbfounded when they heard this, still shocked from the news. Mom cried. Dad cried. I couldn't decide whether to cry or not. I had to stay in the hospital for three weeks before I can be on home probation. I have three doctors assigned to me-two brain surgeons and one regular general practioner. Then I had eleven nurses( I counted) who waited ion me in the past six hours. Mom and dad had to work everyday so they sent my maid to take care of me. This might seem cruel and uncaring but my parents had to work and I told them to because I wasn't in danger and it was going to be okay. It took me a week to convince them as they brought me to my appointments to the doctors and chemo sessions. They had to. It would keep their worries off me and stop transferring negative energy towards me. This was healthy, I told them. I,was okay. So they came every evening instead after their work.  I didn't tell any of my friends, because technically, I wasn't dying. And they had their own shit to take care of, let alone mine. Knowing would just be a burden. 

It was coming to the end of week two and I was dragging my feet and my iv stand to the doctors office in my pjs: large baggy shirt and some comfy pants. It was Dr. Fang today checking on my tumor status. As I came into the office, I realized that he was not alone. Next to him was a tall figure, well dressed underneath his white doctory coat. He was well built, you coul tell. That cologne smell was familiar. Then I took a closer look at his face. Smooth, tan and defined cheeks. I knew this person. He was grinning back at me. " well, I hope you don't mind Joby, this is my associate, Dr seah. He's my colleague who is also my understudy, taking over me when I'm not around." I didn't react. This stupid good looking guy was my economics tutor in back when I was in JC. He used to come over my house for bloody expensive tution that I had to pay for myself.(dad refuse to pay a male tutor and mom refused as she didn't believe in tutors) the last time I saw him was on Instagram, in Bali with his gorgeous(I mean extremely beautiful girlfriend ) for vacation last month. He always picked on me and scolded me when I couldn't think of answers. And now he's my freaking doctor. This is a great example of what I call :FML. I just stared at both of them not saying anything as per usual. "Dr Seamus(pronounced as shaymus)  seah" kept scrutinizing me as I nodded or shook my head at every question Dr Fang asked. As soon as Fang took a blood sample from me and I was free to go, I sprung from my seat quickly and pushed my IV stand out with me and started walking to my room. I was wearing my pjs, looking like crap in front of that guy. I didn't talk to him since I told him my econs results for a levels were very bad. 

I was in my hospital room, switching on my Laptop for the first time since my collapse when I heard a knock on my door. It was Seamus, pushing a tray of food in towards my bed. I glanced behind him to see if Linda, my food nurse was behind him. She wasn't. Great. I still haven't said anything. He sat himself on the couch near my bed and crossed his arms. "So, you're not even going to say hi?". There was silence in the room. "You know I know you're neither deaf or mute." He added. What a jerk. Who does he think he is? Lounging in my room like I know him so well. I ignored him and logged into my laptop on my lap. I heard him sigh and said"I'm not going to say anything about a levels or whatever okay so don't worry, I won't reprimand you." I stared at him. " come on, I'm going to be your doctor, we have to at least try to be nice to each other"  he smirked. I stared at him again, this time saying," we're no different from the last time. I'm still paying you to make me better. Just that the last time was econs and this time is my brain. You don't have to force yourself to talk to me just because I'm paying you more now, cuz that money is just for you to treat me" I said without any emotion in my voice. He frowned, sighed and stood up, leaving my room. It was stupid of me to sy that but it was what I felt. I turned my focus back on my laptop. I've got mail from cay and Liz. Two weeks ago. Oops. Well, it's never too late.

Dear girls, 

How are you there? I'm fine, great actually. Just school and the usual crap. I seriously want to come visit you guys now. Seriously jelly of your new room cay. And Liz, try not to scare your roommate with your collection of shinee stuff. I wanna hear from you guys more often! Write soon!

Yours trully and lots of love, Joby

 P.s: good luck !

It was already midnight as I finished my dinner and Korean drama marathon. Time for some sleep.